Tail Charms and Letters From the Ministry
by HogwartsAdoptedSon00
Summary: James' behavior towards Albus and his owl is, er, unacceptable to say the least. Ginny is at her wit's end and Ron's warning letter doesn't exactly help. One-Shot.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the sole property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. I own nothing.

"James Sirius Potter!" Ginny bellowed from the bottom of the stairs, obviously not amused by James' latest antic. "You will remove this tail from your brother's behind this minute!"

A jovial, eleven year old James made a running start towards the stairs and slid down the bannister skillfully. "What's up Mum?" he asked in a calm voice.

Ginny turned Albus around and pointed at the new addition to his body. "That is what it is up! I want it off, NOW!"

"I don't think he's learned his lesson yet," James grinned at ten year old Albus who was nearing tears but not saying a word. "Haven't you Albus?"

Ginny stared at Albus, expecting him to say something. But when he opened his mouth and produced no sound, Ginny's mouth dropped open in horror. "Silencing Charm! You put a silencing charm on him, didn't you? You give him a tail and he can't even complain about it!"

"Mum relax," James said with a swish and flick of his wand.

Albus had probably been shouting at James right before the silencing charm was placed on him, because when it was removed a slew of unmentionable words came flying out of his mouth.

"Albus!" Ginny said in disappointment at her son's poor choice of words. "Go up to your room, now." He turned his head around as much as possible and glared at his butt.

"Mum how is it that I'm in trouble when-" Albus tried to explain himself.

Ginny pulled out her wand. "You haven't cleaned your nose in weeks. That's a pretty good base for a Bat-Bogey Hex."

"But-" he contested. Ginny held her wand closer to his nose to make her threat clear."Oh alright," he surrendered and headed up the stairs, making sure he threw one last look of contempt at James.

A slight smirk found its way onto James' face. "Funny wasn't it?"

"It is not funny! It is mean and you are under age!" Ginny yelled. "Would you really like to be expelled from Hogwarts before you even get there?"

James smiled at the idea. "That would put even higher on the food chain than Uncle George! He would make me heir to Weasley Wizard Wheezes...you know Mum that's not such a bad idea!"

Ginny landed a hard slap on the back of James' head. "It is an awful idea! You've been even more obnoxious than usu-James look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Having the attention span of a squirrel, James had long forgotten his mother was talking to him and his eyes had fixed onto Albus' escaped owl, Hermes. "AVADA-" he pointed his wand at the owl.

"Expelliarmus!" Ginny shouted and his wand soared several feet through the air and landed at the front door just as Harry walked inside. "What has gotten into you!"

Harry examined the furious look on Ginny's face and the deceitful look of innocene on James' face. "Why me?" he mumbled to himself as he walked over to his wife and oldest child. "What's going on in here?" Harry asked handing James his wand.

"Nothing," James quickly said.

Harry waved a finger at James. "That's where you're wrong," he said taking an envelope out of his pants pocket. "As I was walking up the driveway, this dropped from the sky," he said holding up a Ministry stamped envelope.

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Ginny said holding her forehead in her hand.

"Gave me a paper cut, it did. And it's addressed to, why am I not surprised? James Sirius Potter, the living room, #12 Grimmauld Place." Harry handed the envelope to James. "You've got precisely two minutes. Explain yourself."

"I told you nothing happened!" James said adamantly.

"Our son," Ginny began venemously. "not too long ago, placed a tail and silencing charm on Albus! And a few minutes ago, was about to perform an Unforgivable Curse, the Killing Curse to be specific, right here. Right here in this living room on Albus' owl!"

"I'm disappointed to say the least," Harry's eyebrows furrowed. "Open the envelope, James. And read it aloud."

"Mum help me out here-" he said turning to Ginny.

"You're on your own this time," Ginny held her hands up as if she had washed her hands of the situation.

"Fine," He grumbled. "Here goes nothing."

_Dear Mr. James Potter,_

_Who on Earth would allow a Potter to breed with a Weasley? Just ludacris if you ask me. Asking for trouble. I'm not going to give you a formal warning because I know you won't read it if it started 'At four o' clock this evening...". But I'll have you know it is not acceptable Wizarding behavior to place a silencing and tail charm on your brother. Charms are for sissies! Be a man and hex him! Just joking. Ease up on Albus. He's a timid one you know! And Uncle George says he'll see you tomorrow at the platform tomorrow! Didn't realize that you and Fred were starting Hogwarts the same year, Merlin that's a bad combination! Anyway, I've got to run James. I'll call you all later tonight._

_ Ronald Weasley _

_Auror Office_

_Ministry of Magic_

"Ron, you are not helping," Ginny mumbled. After hearing that letter read aloud, she had an instant headache. "Just go and apologize to Albus."

James looked to his Dad heplessly. "Do I have to?"

"You know the rules, we never turn our wands on family," Harry reminded his son. "Now go. Or I will take your wand for two weeks."

"But I start Hogwarts tomorrow!" James complained.

"Then you'd better go and apologize. And Lily's got a nasty fever so don't make too much noise on the way up," Ginny said as James started towards the stairs. As soon as Ginny was sure he was out of earshot, she glared at Harry. "Where he gets it from, I'll never know." She said pushing him against the counter and kissing him.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and laughed. "He probably gets it from your side. Do you remember last week when he 'accidentally' hung Albus from the chandalier and had him sing the national anthem."

"I did not appreciate that rendition of 'God Save The Queen'," Ginny shot back. "And what do you mean, my side?"

"You and your brothers weren't exactly angels. As I recall, a certain red head opened the chamber of secrets in her first year," he said tapping his chin reflectively.

Ginny's face grew stern. "I was possessed! And how can you say he gets it from my side? My brothers and I didn't have death eaters trying to kill us every blessed day! Merlin, I can never catch a break around here! You won't let me live down first year, Albus is a wimp, James looks as though he's headed for St. Mungo's," she said her eyes wide.

"And every half hour, Lily wakes up to spill her guts in the toilet! Hermione and her muggle medicine be damned! I am sending an owl to Madame Pomfrey first thing in the morning!"

Harry's face was a general expression of shock. He did not know Ginny could say so much in one go. He actually felt kind of bad. He had been completely insensitive. It must be hard to go from athlete to journalist to stay-at-home mom to three unruly wizards.

"I'm sorry Ginny. I didn't mean to upset you. You know if it makes you feel any better-" He bent down to whisper in her ear. "Aside from Christmas and Summer, James will be Snape's problem. For the next seven years. Could you imagine anything better?"

**_This story was written by my twelve year old sister. My mum reckons she's not old enough to have her own account. So for the time being, I'll be posting her stories here with this same notice at the bottom. Let her know what you think and leave a review!_**


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